The Start Of Something… God Knows What?

Posted on June 8, 2011

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If I was French, I would say “bonjour”.

I am not French, so I will not say “bonjour”, (unless you count the previous two times I said “bonjour” (three now) ).

"Rendezvous your eyes with this blog mon petit pois"

Hi guys(slightly camp?), this is the first post in my third blog, what a momentous occasion:

Blog 1:  I tried to be controversial, ended up being insulting, and I couldn’t spell.

Blog 2: Entitled, “Cold, Burnt Toast”. I accidentally told my college lecturer about this blog during my interview to get a place in college, I then realised that offensive smut was not going to get me a place on HND Practical Journalism (how wrong was I?), so I ran home and deleted the blog promptly…

So here we are, how long will this one last?

I reckon I will endure as long as I use this blog as a platform to insult people, people I don’t know, this time. I won’t mention people with superinjuctions, Welsh or otherwise, and last yet most importantly, I will not forget my password. No way Jose.

I am aware that blogging is a rather sad ordeal and I will be happy if I have even one reader. However you have to understand, if I wasn’t writing this blog I would be partaking in a painstakingly tedious task like trying to get my dog to talk or introducing the “Swine Barricade Project” (more on that later) to both the Israelis and the Palestinians in order to solve the Middle East crisis.

Hamas can suck my ass

I guess that’s that then, I don’t write without Lucozade and I have none, I used to use heroin as my “muse” but I had the worst habit for writing poetry in bloody feces on other people’s floors and festivities like that can only occur somany times before one earns a reputation as a bit of a vagabond.

DISCLAIMER- I have never used heroin, every time I go to buy it my dealer gets busted.

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Posted in: Humorous, Opinion