Iran: War on the horizon. A nation in the crosshairs?

Posted on March 22, 2012


By John McCarthy (obviously…)

IRAN gets a hard time from western powers.

Despite unbecoming behavior towards non-Muslims, women, homosexuals and more Iran aren’t the worst out there, and the UK and USA are treating them unfairly.

This probably is not a popular viewpoint but it annoys me how Iran are the villains of this century, well them, and politicians, and journalists, and bankers, and bad-broadband connections.

Nuke-wise they are ill equiped (no nukes or nearly no nukes…) and at the moment there is no proof that their nuclear programme is used for anything other than domestic and industrial energy requirements.

With a fully flung civil war being waged in Sudan, Libya being lawless and Egypt being in an awkward transition period, USA and the UK seem to stubbornly have their cannons directed at Iran.

Shouldn’t the west protect its interests elsewhere in the middle-east.

So much pressure is being placed upon the Iran, a nation that has seen its neighbours battered. Iraq invaded and Afghanistan occupied. Also with economic sanctions on oil, one of Iran’s main exports the nation is crippled.

Bullying tactics are hardly going to defuse the situation, more likely justifying the resentment many young Muslims harbour for intervening foreign powers.

All this Iran “stuff” started way back in 2005 when Ahmadinejad was famously misquoted as saying that the state of Israel should be “wiped off the map”. Naturally a mistranslation from the original Farsi saw “I want to see the Jewish state of Israel broken up” rephrased as “Allah will see liquid fire burn the Jews“, I may be paraphrasing ever so slightly, but then so did the person who originally took down the quote.

And the US claim to be threatened by Iran?

Barack Obama recently said: “In recent weeks, internet restrictions have become so severe that Iranians cannot communicate freely with their loved ones within Iran, or beyond its borders.”




There are many countries that have no internet access and many more that restrict freedom of speech.

USA has no qualms about dealing with China, I didn’t see any major complaints when Beijing hosted a frighteningly efficient Olympics.

North Korea… Kim Jung Un is still using his super-powers to dwarf his father’s legacy of absurdly sugar-coated ineptitude by starving his people and bankrupting his nation. Do they even have internet in North Korea?

Ahmadinejad is by no means a happy camper and I find it highly unlikely he has any Jews on his Facebook friend list. He has threatened Israel on several occasions but to be fair, people are unhappy with the whole “Holy Land” situation and if Ahmadinejad is right about anything he is right about this, Israel will see a conflict in the near future.

Ahmadinejad is a dick he did after all deny the holocaust and whether you love or hate Jews, it is difficult to deny that millions of them fell victim to the genocide of the Nazi regime.


The fact that Obama is even mentioning Iran’s freedom of speech is an ever so discrete act of war. As one of the most influential men of Muslim heritage EVER, Obama would do better than to unsettle yet another Middle Eastern region. And why does he care about the broadband, I am sure American forces will knock it out with the first bombs they drop…

Just looking at the above picture provides insight into how fucked Iran is. Not only do they have Israel ever so keen to take a swing at them. But with Western forces leaving Afghanistan in 2014, it is likely they won’t have to travel far to find their next conflict. Iran is surrounded, blockaded, outspoken and perhaps most dangerously, backed into a corner like a rabid wolf. It doesn’t take any great insight or knowledge to know that there is yet another war on the horizon.

Fear of the impending conflict is so high that has been established where citizens of both nations communicate and exchange photographs with heart-warming messages such as “we love you” on them. It may be cheesy and unnecessary but at least it acknowledges that war isn’t the only option.

Let’s forgot about the human cost of war, from even the most cynical standpoint, war costs money. Money we don’t have.

This pretty much sums it up Picture: King Kinya

With David Cameron breaking up the NHS, austerity measures ruining families and Britain narrowly avoiding another recession, can we really afford to restart the cycle just to piss on the Ayotollah’s parade by bombing Iran’s sand castles?

As Nico Bellic, protagonist of the Grand Theft Auto Games and part-time philosopher once said:

“War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.”

Fortunately Britain has over one million unemployed youths, a war in Iran would be the clumsy way to settle that.

And on the subject of computer games, 2011’s critically acclaimed first person shooter Battlefield 3 was actually set during a war with Iran. Obviously the Americans were the “good guys” and everyone else was either evil or hopeless.

*To the 60's Batman theme song tune*
"Iran, Iran, Iran, Iran, BATMAN!"

There has always been propaganda against Iran and it’s leaders. In Batman, a Death in the Family, a comic published in the 80’s in which Robin is killed by Joker, the Ayatollah features as the “bad guy” who hires the Joker as his UN envoy.

Even the most retarded of world leaders would not hire the Joker as their envoy. Long story short Joker had diplomatic immunity and he acted like a bit of a dick with it by tearing Gotham city a new one.

On the left is a lovely little extract from the comic, which I thoroughly recommend to anyone who wants an introduction into comics. Just try to ignore the Iran stuff.


Here is a list of countries in possession of  nuclear weapons. At first the numbers seem staggeringly high but in actual fact the number of nukes in the world peaked during the Cold war.

Country Warheads active/total[nb 1] Year of first test CTBTstatus[3]
The five nuclear-weapon states under the NPT
United States United States 1,950 / 8,500[4] 1945 (“Trinity“) Signatory
Russia Russia (former  Soviet Union) 2,430 / 11,000[4] 1949 (“RDS-1“) Ratifier
United Kingdom United Kingdom 160 / 225[4] 1952 (“Hurricane“) Ratifier
France France 290 / 300[4] 1960 (“Gerboise Bleue“) Ratifier
China China 180 / 240[4] 1964 (“596“) Signatory
Non-NPT nuclear powers
India India n.a. / 80–100[4] 1974 (“Smiling Buddha“) Non-signatory
Pakistan Pakistan n.a. / 90–110[4] 1998 (“Chagai-I“) Non-signatory
North Korea North Korea n.a. / <10[4] 2006 (2006 test) Non-signatory
Undeclared nuclear powers
Israel Israel n.a. / 80–200[4][5] possibly 1979 (See Vela Incident) Signatory