A Yes vote for Scottish Independence won’t ensure an escape from the Conservative party

Posted on February 26, 2014


The question keeps arising – are you voting yes or no?

As a journalist and a chap who remains informed on politics to make up for the five years I lost to Call of Duty in my teens, I have yet to make up my mind.

I have been listening intently to both campaigns since their inception and I’m frankly too scared to choose. There’s more fear mongering in this “debate” than an entire season of Scooby fucking Doo.

Look out, its the fluctuating stability of a currency union with two economic nations

Look out, it’s old man Jones in a ghost costume, if only we had Trident to protect us

And, debate is a strong word. Battle of nefariously crafted lies perhaps. The duel of venom-tipped deceit. A furor of deceptive clucking and nit-picking.

I heard that many Scots are voting Yes to escape the policies of the Tory party and I doubted the validity of these sentiments.

Salmond implies having Trident and nuclear power will be the harbinger of irradiated doom for  all of the unfortunate inhabitants of this soon-to-be gamma-soaked, misery-crater.

Cameron, on the otherhand not-so-subtly says the dwindling oil reserves and fluctuating prices will starve us before we are invaded by god-only-knows-who like a tartan Red Dawn. Who would invade a country with dwindling resources and no strategic value I ask?

However, I am here to outline one argument. Scotland looks intent on entering into a currency union with the UK, thus adopting the Pound instead of the Euro.

The removal of a Scottish vote from Westminster will see Labour lose around 40 seats in every election, this creates what can only be described as a massive Tory advantage.

So all the Tory-hating Scots in this “Labour Stronghold”, who are voting to remove themselves from that system, think, if we do keep the pound, we remove ourselves from the system while remaining under its control.

Voting yes ensures a Tory advantage in Westminster (as you will read below). They will have very little impetus to financially regulate the pound to benefit Scotland. (The Bank of England is an independent entity) supposedly but if you buy into the whole “the bankers and the politicians all went to Eton” argument then that separation is more symbolic than true.

Also, vehement enemies of the Tories will subject a generation of British folk to the sort of legislation they traditionally balk at in disgust.

In short, becoming independent and adopting the pound is like playing a trust exercise with the loathing ex you just cheated on. You turn your back on her, and then you expect her to catch you rather than stick a dagger in it.

The SNP are (arguably) liberal in comparison to their counterparts in the
south (paid prescriptions, nuclear disarmament, paid university tuition). Why would the Tories, or indeed any of the main UK parties help Scotland flourish in any way, shape or form? We would be in direct competition with this new UK. They would want us to struggle, ever read the prodigal son?

Here’s the breakdown of my rant.

There are 650 seats in the UK parliament. If Scotland became independent (assuming there isn’t a revamp of the parliamentary system to give Wales and NI more power in the absence of Scotland and to avoid further succession), there would be
591 seats left.

If Scotland phoned in sick for the 2010 election, the 41 Labour votes (of 59 seats) would be kaputt, dropping Labour from 258 seats to 217. In comparison, the Tories would lose one measly seat at Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweedale bringing their overall haul to 306. The Liberal Democrats would have lost 11 seats decreasing theirs to 46.

As a result, the Conservatives form a majority government of 306 seat where a coalition of Lib Dems and Labour only hits 266 seats.

Therefore, the millions of vulnerable individuals affected by the cuts that this forward thinking union prides itself in protecting and providing for would suffer the brunt of the full legislative power of the Death Star… ahem… I mean the Conservistar. The Lib Dems have succeeded (albeit weakly) in watering down this legislation.

We cannot lose Fo Shizzle

We cannot lose Fo Shizzle

It’s no secret that some Tory backbenchers (many more may remain silent) would fancy their chances in future elections if Scotland was removed from the UK voting system. Even John Major said that the Tories would benefit.

No one can argue with the momentum the SNP are gaining either. Salmond can talk as much rubbish as he likes as long as the No campaign keep blundering on, making mistake, after mistake, after mistake.

Johann Lamont’s conclusion that the Scottish don’t have the “genetic programming” to make decisions will add to such momentum.

The head of the Scottish Labour Party claimed the Scottish people are born with a genetic mutation, absent in the rest of the UK, that prevents us from knowing how to vote. Does she hate her job? Does she hate herself? She should really stop sucking on the end of that double-barreled shot gun.

The truth is already a casualty in this debate, no one would blink an eye if Lamont’s career followed.


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