Glasgow’s worst – The ‘Best Kebab’ sent me to rehab

Posted on October 23, 2014


Dear Advertising Standards Agency.

Yesterday, I purchased a mixed kebab from ‘Best Kebab’ located 58 Dundas Street Glasgow G1 2AQ.

The £5.50 mixed kebab was reputed to come with ‘Sarald an Sos’. Sarald was composed of long, raw onions that resembled peeled skin and Sos looked as if it was squeezed from a mould-bloated plague rat that drowned in the tight anus of a man who ate only marmite. There were bits of what I hoped were meat floating within the mixture. Best case scenario it was the hairy-sunburn scabs of the ginger-haired delivery man who had just returned from holiday.

AS with any kebab, you risk not getting the highest quality of meat, this is agiven, however your chicken and donner resembled and tasted worse than a coma patient’s bedsores after their subsequent retrieval from a biological waste bin filled with bile and and tapeworm eggs.

Now, I’ve had bad kebabs, but never before have I had a bad kebab – and been stabbed in the heart by the irony of the situation. ‘Best Kebab’ sold me the worst kebab in existence. Guys, people are only fooled by a name once. If Simon Cowell changed his name to ‘not a cunt’ there would still be few people who actually think he is not a cunt.

If by mixed kebab, you meant a mix of the world’s most noxious substances than I retract my bad review as you would have achieved your goal. And I will concede that with apologies. I feel like your food inoculated me to diseases native to your kitchen that have still to make their way into the wider-world.

I wish Best Kebab, the ‘best’ of luck with it’s fraudulent claims, it’s poxy ‘food’ and it’s staff’s out-dated facial hair worn without irony.

John McCarthy

Here is the offending establishment.


Posted in: Review