5 weird and wonderful Batman soundtracks you cannot miss

Posted on July 8, 2015

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Batman Prince 1989 (12)

Awful Batman soundtracks existed way before Christopher Nolan made the franchise grittier than a crumbling gargoyle’s arse crack.

Throughout 80s and 90s Batman actually featured more musical numbers than a Mardi Gras pray-away-the-gay camp. Batman, Batman Returns, Batman and Robin and Batman Forever soundtracks were all wonderful and confusing than the last, all capable of sticking in your mind harder than a shark clings onto to a BatLeg…

Batshark

1: First up for Tim Burton’s ‘Batman’ is Batdance from Prince

Kids have to witness the ‘what-the-fuckery’ Batdance has to offer and the questions it embeds in the skull like a Chernobyl tumour.

‘Is it a song?’ ‘Is Prince the real-life Joker?’ and finally ‘Mummy can you please make it stop?’.

Check out these Batman-related lyrics.

“I’m gonna kill U

POWER

I’m not gonna kill U

SOUL

I’m gonna kill U

POWER

I’m not gonna kill U

SOUL

Let’s do it

I’m Batman”

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This magical monstrosity featured on Prince’s ‘Batman’ which somehow topped the US Billboard album chart for six consecutive week in 1989.

2: Next is Batman Return’s ‘Face to Face’ by Siouxsie & The Banshees

Naturally interspersed with clips from the movie, this track captures a hellish vibe, reminiscent of Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights as directed by especially glum Tim Burton.

Like Prince’s entry, the lyrics have very little to do with the Dark Knight:

“My lovely foe

Mouth to mouth

raining heaven’s blows

Hand on heart

tic tac toe

Under the stars

naked as we flow

Cheek to cheek

the bitter sweet

Commit your crime in your deadly time”

Questions again arise: “Is it a song?’ ‘Why is it so bad?’ and finally ‘Mummy can you please make it stop?’.

3: Joel Schumaker’s Batman and Robin set the scene with Smashing Pumpkins ‘The End Is the Beginning Is the End’

Yet again pale folk mewl about being Batish serves as the prominent theme. Similar questions arise again: “Is it a song?’ ‘Why is it so bad?’ and finally ‘Mummy can you please make it stop?’.

So here’s some lyrics, are these Batmany enough?

Batman smile

“The sewers belch me up

The heavens spit me out

From ethers tragic I am born again

And now I’m with you now

Inside your world of wow

To move in desires made of deadly pretends

Till the end times begin”

4: Next, same movie – R.Kelly’s confounding ‘Gotham City’.

Running with the lyrics “A city of justice, a city of love, a city of peace, for everyone of us,” you have to wonder whether R.Kelly even knew that Gotham City makes Isis-occupied Mosul look like the garden of Eden.

Pondering on why this soundtrack came to fruition is officially more of a brain teaser than the hardest Riddler riddle.

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And finally perfection kicks in.

5: Batman Forever is fortunate enough to feature Seal masterpiece ‘Kiss From a Rose’

Is it a Batman song? Hell no. But it is a song which is more than can be said for some of the other entries. Oddly enough, the worst movie pairs up with the finest track.

Ah, breathe it in. Perfect. Kiss that Rose Seal boy.

Did I miss any obscure Bat-Tunes? Lemme know in the comments.

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