Browsing All Posts filed under »Satire«

5 unconventional ways to reduce the UK budget deficit

October 23, 2013


We’re in debt. We. The UK. I shop in Lidl and Farmfoods. This just won’t do! Excluding temporary loans to banks the UK is currently sitting on a budget deficit of £13.2bn and borrowing is expected to sit around £80bn (5.1% of GDP) – excluding the sale of the Royal Mail. I figured I should […]

Lundun twenty twelve Ohlympics (c) TM

August 5, 2012


So has everyone enjoyed the Ohlympics in Lundun, so far? I have had a spiffing time watching the world’s best athletes compete for gold medals, mankind’s best performing mankind’s silliest recreational tasks. It has been great. However we all enjoy watching monkeys doing back flips until we realise that when said monkey is finished performing he goes […]

Online piracy: I know you stole Michael Buble’s album for your Mum

March 31, 2012


Pirate is a term chucked around freely these days. It is a term that gives Johnny Depp the funds to escape yet another kinky Tim Burton film where he is forced to do the degrading sexual things that sustain his pimp-like director. It is a term that causes malformed-alcoholics yearn for murder on the seven-seas. Mostly […]

An Internet Experiment

October 5, 2011


Brad Pitt, Paris Hilton, David Beckham, Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, Beyonce, Adolf Hitler, Frank Sinatra, St Patrick, Gaddafi, Rod Stewart, Kim Jong Il. With these high profile celebrity names used it is interesting to see how much more views my blog will get… Watch this space. To help things on its way I am also […]

In a Perfect World…

September 28, 2011


This morning on my commute to college, soaked to the skin, unnaturally cold, enraged, short of breath, short of height… and sweating, a lot: as usual, I wondered, why isn’t life easier? So in response, during a class, under the guise of doing actual work I compiled a list of things I would improve immediately… had […]

Hurricane Katia Approaches

September 11, 2011


Nail down your children, bubble-wrap your pets, don your metal anoraks. Hurricane Katia is coming to town with a vengeance. As a citizen with a hole in the roof directly above my bedroom, I can personally say I hope this storm subsides before it hits us. Otherwise I will have to hit the hay with my […]

Redundant Soldiers? Liam Fox’s Bright Idea

September 2, 2011


If you were chosen to force redundancy upon a certain group of people, who would be the worst group to break the news to? Bankers, builders, office workers? Or soldiers…? By 2020, Defence Secretary, Liam Fox  has vowed to cut around 1/10 of the British armed forces. At the moment the army consists of around 140,000 […]

David Starkey’s Outrageous Malarkey…

August 16, 2011


David Starkey is a critically acclaimed historian, celebrated scholar and TV presenter however he is more famously known as an unhinged lunatic. Starkey is infamous for saying inappropriate, even idiotic things whilst being broadcast live to millions of people… yet I can’t bring myself to hate him. Over the years the man has “let slip” more than […]

Go Compare: Put Yer Mascot in a Casket

August 15, 2011


“Go Compare” His name is Gio Compario, his insidious song-like yelps quite rightly make him the world’s most detestable man. He is the face of insurance middle-man company… Go Compare. First of all, let me say this, if Gio is the face of the company, I fear the company’s ass. Probability dictates that it would […]

James Bond and Britain’s Changing Society

August 6, 2011


“Bond, James Bond”:  First said by James Bond… With the 23rd James Bond movie going into production later this year I have decided to take a retrospective look at how 007 has developed throughout the last half-century. Many men have played Bond and each reincarnation brought about its own unique changes, each reshuffle of the cast […]