Browsing All Posts filed under »Review«

Glasgow’s worst – The ‘Best Kebab’ sent me to rehab

October 23, 2014

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Dear Advertising Standards Agency. Yesterday, I purchased a mixed kebab from ‘Best Kebab’ located 58 Dundas Street Glasgow G1 2AQ. The £5.50 mixed kebab was reputed to come with ‘Sarald an Sos’. Sarald was composed of long, raw onions that resembled peeled skin and Sos looked as if it was squeezed from a mould-bloated plague […]

Cinema needs an enema!

February 22, 2012

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Absolute garbage: coming to a cinema outlet near you Why does cinema need an enema? Well the first reason is that there are so many poor films we have very little choice in what we see, the producers need to clean up their acts, the second is that enema nearly rhymes with cinema. Have you noticed the […]

Dead Island: Review

October 8, 2011

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If everyone loves a terrible, zombie flick. Why did I hate Dead Island, as it was both? … Dead Island, is a first-person, zombie survival RPG developed by Techland, the studio behind the Call of Juarez trilogy. It gained notoriety for its supposedly emotionally charger trailer… Watch here. . . Before I begin, Dead Island is nothing […]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Review

October 6, 2011

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Operation “Faux-pas Review” has commenced, control, “roger”. *Bzzt*. I am travelling parallel to the target, weaving through streets, with my standard issue peep-hole newspaper obscuring my face from Russian sleeper agents. If they catch me my cover is blown. I am tailing the tailor. That’s why we call me the tail. I am the tailor’s tail. If […]

Get Gears of War 3 now

October 5, 2011

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Gears of War 3 review Before the review commences, I present you a question: What is the only thing that can improve an automatic rifle?… *tick tock, tick tock* Time’s up. Answer: A chainsaw. Gears of War 3 has gun-mounted chainsaws which you can “use” to exterminate hordes of enemies, what else does a guy […]

An Internet Experiment

October 5, 2011

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Brad Pitt, Paris Hilton, David Beckham, Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, Beyonce, Adolf Hitler, Frank Sinatra, St Patrick, Gaddafi, Rod Stewart, Kim Jong Il. With these high profile celebrity names used it is interesting to see how much more views my blog will get… Watch this space. To help things on its way I am also […]